Embracing Limitless Abilities

Engaging individuals with developmental disabilities

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  • Long month

    September is almost over. It has been a very busy month. One project is completed and given the circumstances, I would say it was a success. The first disability expo for our county since 2020. We had collaborated with others to put on a well-received expo for 9 years before COVID. We were set up to hold the 10th annual expo the week the county was shut down. I had some great collaborators for this one. And we had a full house of vendors show up. There were many great moments but one of my favorites was when one of our consumers walked out with her staff person after performing with some others showing what they have learned in music therapy. She always has a happy, bubbly personality. And as she walked out the door, she looked toward the registration table where I was sitting and then looked back to her staff and said as she giggled happily, “That was so much fun!”. I was able to watch her perform with the others and she was smiling and having a blast the whole time they sang and played their guitars. Smiles like that may my day and made all the work and the very long day worth it. Then I was able to watch the dance therapy group dance to “Uptown Funk”. You could tell they were enjoying themselves as well.

    One half of the second project was completed by its deadline. The next meeting for it is next Friday. I must admit that this project has really taken a lot out of me, mentally and emotionally. I have been working with this population and my current agency for almost a decade, and I take my job very seriously. And I thought that I was doing a fairly decent job. This project has caused me to question everything I thought I knew and how I am actually doing. The only thing helping me keep stuff into perspective is when my “peeps” at the center give me hugs and some even tell me they love me. That lets me know that I am doing something right. They know that I care about them, I give them some of my time every chance I can. My office door is always open, unless I’m on a call or in a meeting. And they know they are welcome in my office anytime I am not on the phone. They are why I am there every day. And the reason I show up every morning.

  • I’m back

    Well, it has been a crazy couple of months. I lost internet for a few days during some sort of upgrade/update, then work has been very busy. However, the constant is that my “friends” have been their usual, fun-loving selves. They have been active at the center. Sadly, I missed the last karaoke day. I heard that it was full of fun, singing and dancing. The bingo they play is names of songs and it is “called” by playing the song. People were singing along and dancing in their chairs. Lots of smiling, happy people. This month is going to be busier than usual so the posts may be few and far between and short as my mind will be focused on a project that I have to have ready by the 30th, and a disability expo we are helping to put on the 25th. After this month, I am hoping to be back to my usual self and able to post more.

  • Understanding others

    “You never really understand a person until you consider things from their point of view…Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.” Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird.

    Individuals with special needs are like everyone else. Their personalities are complex, and no one should ever think any two individuals, special needs or not, are the same. Individuals with special needs often times think and act differently from others. Others do not. It depends on the severity and the specific disability. I have worked with individuals in their 50’s that have the mental acuity and activity of a 7–8-year-old. And others I have worked with have completed college courses and obtained a degree, because their disability effected their physical abilities and not their mind. It takes some time to visit and interact with each one individually to determine what it would take to meet them at their need. Engaging in conversation and observing them when they are comfortable in their surroundings is very important, it tells you a lot about their mentality and personality. Never assume how you speak and interact with one person who has down syndrome or autism is how you need to speak with everyone with either special need. Everyone is different, and special in their own way. Interact and engage with them, get to know them, and you will find out they are all are amazing people with a lot to give to friends, family and the community. Never underestimate someone based upon a disability.

  • Precious Hearts

    One of the best attributes of those I am blessed to work with at the center have the most precious hearts. They are the most loving, caring individuals I have ever met. You are so blessed when they consider you a friend. We have one young lady that comes to the center, that anytime one of her friends are, or have been, sick she will ask for a picture to color and will have everyone sign it when she’s done and asks that staff give it to the person if she cannot do it herself. When one of her friends that also attended the center passed away, she told me she was going to sing “You are my sunshine” to the person’s staff during karaoke. If I am not at the center when she arrives, she will ask the staff where I am, and the staff will tell her they “got rid of me” and she will make the cutest squeal and will say “no you didn’t”. Then she will text me and tell on the staff for telling her that. It’s now a fun game they play together. She even tells staff that I am her “best friend”.

    Another gentleman who knows me from previous meetings comes to the center once a week for movie day doesn’t talk a lot to me but will always smile and wave when he sees me come through the room or come into the front door. The air conditioner that cools the offices of our building has been out for the last few days. During the movie day last Thursday, I was in my office on web calls. One of the staff came in and told me between calls that this gentleman said he felt bad for me being stuck in my office with no air conditioning. When I came out after my calls, he was still there and asked me how I managed staying in there without cool air.

    These are just two of the many amazing men and women that I get to spend time with daily. With people like this, how can you not feel loved and cared for when with them? How lucky am I?

  • Insight into my perspective

    I have been truly blessed in my life. Often times I don’t see it, but I have. I had parents that loved me, brought me up in church, and taught me to treat everyone with respect until they give me a reason not to. They taught me it’s not my place to judge someone for any reason. Be nice to everyone and treat them with dignity. With this perspective on life and interacting and engaging with others, I have been able to build rapport and make friends while looking beyond appearance and abilities. Through the course of my career since I completed my undergraduate degree I have worked with individuals with mental health obstacles, geriatric individuals in nursing homes and residential care facilities, and the intellectually/developmentally disabled. I have never once believed that I was or am better than anyone, thanks to loving direction from my parents.

    As I was making my way through my career and finding my wings, I learned how to meet people where they are at. Do I talk to my current friends the same way I talk to my colleagues? No, but I also do not talk down to them. I just change the words to ones they can understand and help them understand what I am saying when they are struggling to comprehend our conversation. I do not look at their “disability” as a hard roadblock to living a full and happy life. I look at it as an obstacle that can be overcome to a degree by how it is perceived. It requires them and their caregivers to think outside of the box in order to overcome each obstacle as it presents itself. I have seen parents who have brought their loved one up not focusing on a “disability” but thinking that they just have to do some things differently than others to achieve the same goal of being happy and living their fullest life. I have also seen caregivers holding their loved one back from opportunities that could help their loved one grow and be happy and fulfilled by fencing them in by their disability. I choose to encourage my friends to try things that they would like to do, of course as long as it is safe for them, and I am one of their biggest cheerleaders. When they tell me something they have done, be it big or small, I let them know how much of a rockstar they are. Even if what they tried did not work out as they hoped, I let them know that they are still a rockstar for even trying. Failure is not roadblock; it’s a learning process whether you have a disability or not. I would do my very best to move the earth and stars if I could help any of the people I get the distinct pleasure of working with each day. I have referred to them as my friends and my “peeps” and the ones that have heard me refer to them as such smile and often times giggle. The door to my office is almost always open when I am in it and the individuals that I have built a strong rapport with know they are welcome in my office anytime, as long as I’m not on a call or in a meeting. There are four individuals that usually show up at my door at some point when they are at our center that want a hug, to ask me questions about my day or night, even asking me what I am going to have for lunch or supper that day. How awesome is that!?

    I do not view what I do as a job or a career, it’s a calling and something I see myself doing until such a time that my mind and body require me to retire. My board chairman introduced me to the chairman of another senate bill 40 board and informed that chairman that I was going to be with our board “until Gabriel blows his horn”. I cannot picture doing anything else for the rest of my career. I am the luckiest person in the world to be able to experience these absolutely fabulous men and women on a daily basis. So many of them have helped me see that regardless of how bad a day is, tomorrow is another day and it’s a lot more fun to be happy then frustrated, upset, angry, sad, etc. Every day is a new day to smile, laugh, sing, dance, whatever makes you happy. It is all in our perspective and how we choose to spend our time.

  • Disclaimer

    Hello all. I am so glad you are taking time out of your busy schedules to read my ramblings. Given the topic, and the stories I am going to share, I need to make a disclaimer from the start. I will not be using the real names of my friends, or sharing any other personal health information, due to HIPAA. My friends mean the world to me, and because I have met them through my work, I not only am bound by HIPAA rules, but I respect them and their privacy. Every one of them deserve the utmost respect and dignity, and I will not let them down. Thank you for your understanding and again, welcome along for this journey.

  • Hello World!

    Hello there! I would like to welcome you to my world. In my world, there are sad days and happy, fun days filled with interacting with individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities. In my world, everyone is equal and deserving of dignity and respect, regardless of their disability. I do not limit their abilities, and I always encourage them to follow their dreams while being one of their biggest cheerleaders. I also try to provide a safe space for them to speak their mind and express their feelings, whether happy, sad, or confused.

    I truly believe that working with these individuals is my calling. My days are always brighter when I get to spend time with this population. To see them smile and to hear them laugh or sing makes my heart happy. To see them upset makes my heart hurt. I welcome others to my world and hope I can help make the world a better place.

  • Welcome Aboard

    Welcome to my blog site. I look forward to you joining me on this journey through my world. I have approximately 13 years of experience with this population ranging from direct care to case management and now the executive director of a Senate Bill 40 board in a rural county in Missouri. I have learned through my time working with this population that they are human, like myself, and have hopes, dreams and feelings like everyone else. They don’t like to be ignored or talked down to any more than anyone else does. There are some that require a simpler language when conversing with them. But simpler language does not mean talking to them like they are a young child. Over the years, I have found ways to engage with these individuals in a way that they feel comfortable with me, will open up to me, and view me as a friend, not just a professional person that is there to link them with a service or help them learn a daily living task.

    I love what I do, I love interacting with this population. They are some of the most happy and fun people I know. Regardless of the type of day I am having, interacting with those I work with daily always puts a smile on my face and lightens the burdens of the day. My goal with this site, is to share all the ways the individuals I interact with daily shapes my world. And if through my stories I can help others learn how to engage and be comfortable holding conversations with individuals with intellectual or developmental disabilities, all the better. There will be times that I will share helpful ways to engage these wonderful people in a way that allows them the respect and dignity they deserve, while also providing you with a new way to look and interact with this population and share the joy and innocence they exude. I will also share fun stories of the interactions I have with my “friends”.

    I encourage interaction and communication with myself through the comments. I would also appreciate ideas of topics that interest you, or that can assist you in engaging and interacting with these amazing people, and comments of your thoughts with a story or a topic. So, jump on board and let’s enjoy this journey together.